The Butchers, the Lambs and the moles.

 It's not so sad to me anymore that there's so much toxic spirtuality in groups and two facedness, in supposed allies who claim to have the goal of interfaith or intercommunity healing. It's more like an old hard lesson learned. 

Also, if you can read this, it's not about you, but maybe it's something you can relate to. Let's just add, that IF it IS about you, you won't admit it or see how it is, and that's probably for the best.

What do I mean by that?

Think about it like this:Have you ever caught someone in a lie? 

If you have,  you'll notice this.  They're more angry about it than you! 

 It's actually kind of funny when you get a little distance from it, that is  if you survive it. 

At the same time it's not really funny. This story is not a funny one. I'm sure it could be reenacted in a way that would be funny but like most things I've written it's probably just gonna be offensive or boring. 

 At least I got it out of me though. 

Forgive my grammar punctuation and spelling if you must.  Voice dictation devices come with very stubborn auto correct. Auto correct's programming that is simply not automatically correct. That's my disclaimer. You would think that I would be used to offending people by now it's been almost a half a century of it. So grammar nazis probably aren't going to enjoy reading this. The rest of the nazis ... Well....I digress, or do I? 

This story is about how I keep running up against rampant antisemitism in my observations of spiritualities over the years.  My friends who are Jewish would point out to me that it was there, even in pagan community, seemingly begnign sweetly wildish fairy looking gatherings, there was a deep vein permeating this truth.

Sadly, it took a while for me to recognize it. Then I couldn't ignore it. And just like one of my many previous selves over the many lifetimes i've traveled,  there are others who don't see it. They won't see it. Their struggle for survival and human need for connection of any sort is sadly greater than any hope of thriving beyond that. That's the sorry hand many are dealt. 

Terrifyingly, some even benefit from how things are and not only do they not care that it's harmful but actually enjoy the way things are as a tender delicacy. 

And I have a hunch that this happens for a lot of marginalized folks in a lot of different ways. They repeatedly find they are again in situations that are not actually designed for their own best interest even if the title of those situations are "Your best interest" 

"They"are not the "Your."  

So this story is in the works and it's called

The Butchers, the Lambs and the moles.  

I know what it's like to be a lamb hanging out with the butchers.  As humans, our need to belong is inherent to our very survival so much so that we will let the metaphorical butchers feed us our entire lives.  We will side with them and defend them,  not facing our true worth,  our truest potential or their actual true role in our lives. 

This is especially true for anyone marginalized, and even more true, (for a while) for people who have risked survival by choosing estrangement to break toxic chains in order to be more open to what can allow a chance at thriving. 

Sadly It takes a  few tries.  Sometimes those of us who are willing to embrace our life's destiny,   of being more than (metaphorical)  slaughter, will have accidentally stumbled into a few more slaughterhouses that looked like gingerbread homes. 

Being a faithful and loyal friend or better yet, a partner to ourselves is absolutely the rarely achieved gold medallion. As marginalized people, Or as women, well it is  the most challenging achievement anyone can reach in a world that teaches us to deny ourselves. 

In a dominant system which teaches us that to be the sacrifice is some sort of saintlihood, 

it's takes constant discernment and fortitude as well as risk of hunger to deprogram ourselves from that deeply inherent mindset that is coded in almost everything around us. 

And then we find places where the coding is different. A wilder place. A more beautiful place. 

And yet some of the old coding still remains. We come to realize those are still (metaphorical)  butchers too. 

We thought we got free but we didn't, we are just being pasture raised now by more (metaphorical) butchers. Just because the fences have more space and wealth between them doesn't change what is happening within their parameters.

The Butchers, They speak lamb, but they are not lamb. And as soon as those butchers gather away from most of the flock, it's only the blackest sheep that actually hear them, and those sheep desperately want to survive so much so that they will convince themselves that they are not hearing what they are hearing even though  they've learned the language of the butcher. 

When black sheep stay with butchers, this is called proximity to power. It's the idea that one is closer to surviving if they are closer to the enemy. Sadly, it does prolong the life but never

changes the end story.

Once in a while a mole ends up in the mix. The (metaphorical) butcher's just think the mole is another lamb, or it goes completely unnoticed for a while because it's so much smaller than the big fully grown sheep.

And for the mole it doesn't matter if any wool falls over its eyes because it still knows what it knows.

It doesnt use its eyes to know, it uses its sense. 

The Mole doesn't end up in these situations because it wanted be a spy and certainly never said as a child that it wanted to grow up to become a tattle tale. 

The moles end up there because they wanna belong to just like everyone else.

The mole though will say something. That is what makes them different.  

They will say, "Excuse me but I see all these butcher supplies and the last place I was at had butcher supplies and they wanted to eat us."  They will say, "I get so nervous around these butcher  supplies, And I know that you love your butcher supplies and you like to photograph your butcher supplies and even writepository about your butcher's supplies and you like to Tell the grandest stories about the grandest butchers that ever existed in history and retell those butchers stories 

"But I lose friends when I try to talk about it."  "And please don't be offended". But would you just take a minute to tell me about what those Butcher supplies are there for if not for using on the lambs  so I can know that I am safe here?"

And the butcher's will laugh and say, "oh, you're so brave, little lamb for saying something. We need more like you in the world. " 

And the butchers will say this while  speaking the language of lamb thinking that they are convincing the mole  that it's safe, still not recognizing the mole is not a lamb. 

The butchers will say "Oh, there have been many butchers, Yes we are all butchers, Butchers have always existed, Just because Butchers have always existed, doesn't mean we should ignore what great parties they throw,  what great ale they provide or what wonderful stories they weave on red wool through the night. Just try this meat,  its so tender" 

The moles get outta there because they want more than survival. They want to thrive. 

It's worth the risk of hunger to not be butchered. 

The sheep stay and the ones who are closest to the shepherds layer themselves in fine oils and perfumed spices.  

They not only keep getting fed by the shepherds like all the other sheep but they also get invited to dine at the shepherds table,  and its here that they develop a taste for the delicacies of lamb and seasoned mutton.